As a fanatical atheist (previous post), bitter that I “wasted” my life being a fanatical Christian (previouser post), I anointed science as my new god.  Unlike religion, science was empirical.  Unlike religion, science provided proof.  And unlike religion, science invited, even encouraged, questions to its authority.

Or so I thought.

According to the boffins, the universe is accelerating in its expansion; instead of all the galaxies eventually slowing down due to their gravitational attraction to one another, they’re actually speeding away from each other faster and faster.  This phenomenon is due to something called dark energy, which supposedly makes up nearly 3/4 of the entire universe.  (About 1/4 of the universe is dark matter.  A tiny sliver is ordinary matter, which makes up all of our perceived reality: the stars, the planets, your home, your car, you, your cat, a rock in Kolkata…)

But this rate of acceleration is very finely tuned.  If it was minutely faster, individual molecules would have long since scattered away from one another, never having the chance to gather together to form the stars, planets, your home, your car, you, your cat, a rock in Kolkata.  But if the acceleration was minutely slower, all the ordinary matter of the universe would’ve long since clumped together into one big omni-ball.

So how could the universe be so perfectly tuned to allow for life to exist?  Does this imply the existence of a meticulous Creator?

Of course not! the boffins contend.  The reason is because we live in one of several universes.  The universe we inhabit just happens to have the perfect rate of acceleration.  There are many other universes with faster rates of acceleration (scattered molecules).  And several others with slower rates (omni-balls).

“Very cool theory!  How can we test it?” I want to know.

Er, well we have computer models.  We’re still coming up with experiments, the boffins reply.  In the meantime, just take our word for it.

I left Christianity due to its adherence to blind faith.  I went from one dubious god to another.

So where am I now, spiritually?  Well, religion wasn’t the answer.  But neither fully is science.

I do earnestly hope there is a caring god out there.  I hope there is an afterlife.  And I hope that my teeny tiny life matters in the mind-numbingly large celestial scheme of things.

But if all those hopes are for naught, I’m finally OK with that too.

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