{"id":284,"date":"2015-02-09T00:49:41","date_gmt":"2015-02-09T00:49:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/?p=284"},"modified":"2015-02-09T00:49:41","modified_gmt":"2015-02-09T00:49:41","slug":"fanatical-atheist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/?p=284","title":{"rendered":"Fanatical atheist"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the throes of hardcore Christianity in my early 20s (see my previous post<\/a>), I finally decided to read the Bible.\u00a0 I figured If I was going to dedicate my life (and afterlife) to its teachings, I should probably actually read it. So I reverently opened my NIV study Bible<\/a> and began reading Genesis 1:1.<\/p>\n

And after I finished reading the last words of Revelation 22:21, I knelt down and prayed.\u00a0 For many things in the bible didn’t make sense to me.\u00a0 And many more things profoundly disturbed me.*\u00a0 So I asked God to help me understand his word.<\/p>\n

Then I proceeded to read the bible again.**<\/p>\n

And this time when I was done, I didn’t kneel down and pray.\u00a0 For instead of feeling like I read a book inspired by a perfect loving god, I knew I just read a work patched together by primitive ignorant humans.\u00a0 Though I still loved god with my heart, I no longer loved him with my mind.<\/p>\n

My Christian friends tried explaining to me that that was why my belief in god was referred to as a \u201cFaith\u201d, for it transcended reason.\u00a0 But that argument further confused me: why would god create me with a brain, only to expect me to disregard it?<\/p>\n

From a fanatical Christian, I became a fanatical atheist.<\/p>\n

The next ten years of my life were my most turbulent.\u00a0 No longer knowing my place in Creation and what was expected of me, I was an unanchored unbattened boat tossed in the stormy ocean of life.\u00a0 I was angry that I wasted my entire life to blind faith.***<\/p>\n

However, I owe the existence of The Alpha And The Omega<\/em><\/a> to my fanatical Christianity and fanatical atheism.\u00a0 I couldn’t have come up with the its plot if it wasn’t for my Christianity.\u00a0 And I wouldn’t have wrote it as a secular (i.e. over-the-top horror) novel if it wasn’t for my atheism.<\/p>\n

To be continued…
\n
\n* What exact biblical concerns I had are outside the scope of this particular post.\u00a0 But I’m willing to divulge them if enough blog commenters ask.<\/span><\/p>\n


\n** Including all the excruciating “…X the father of Y, Y the father of Z…”s in Genesis and Mathew.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n


\n*** This doesn’t mean I believe all people of faith are living a lie.\u00a0 Events in my life have led me to my current (ir)religious state.\u00a0 Not having experienced another’s life, I have no right to pass judgment on his\/her spiritual journey.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the throes of hardcore Christianity in my early 20s (see my previous post), I finally decided to read the Bible. I figured If I was going to dedicate my life (and afterlife) to its teachings, I should probably actually read it. So I reverently opened my NIV study Bible and began reading Genesis 1:1.<\/p>\n

[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=284"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":287,"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions\/287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.undergroundmediaware.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}