Product vs. Passion

In 2003, I began writing my first novel.  Out of all my story ideas, it was the one I felt most passionate about.

No, it wasn’t The Alpha And The Omega.

Unlike A&O, this “first novel” was sci-fi.  But like A&O, it also had elements of horror and religion.  In other words, it was so “out there”, I decided no agent or publisher would ever consider it from a first-time author.

So 200 pages into the first draft, I abandoned it.  Rifling through all my other story ideas, I chose the one I judged to be the most “commercially accessible” and began writing it.  And that’s how A&O became my debut novel.

Did I sell out?  I rationalized that I didn’t, that I would’ve eventually written A&O as my second novel.  (But aren’t rationalizations just lies, giftwrapped with pretty bows?)

Have you ever “sold out” (artistically or otherwise)?  Have you ever chose “product over passion”?  If so, was it ultimately worth it?  (In regards to A&O, I guess time and book sales will tell…)

PS – I’m currently back to writing my “first novel”